What about the #mommyfails?
So, I was tagged by Jacinta on her lovely blog about faith and motherhood to write a post on 10 Ways I am #Rocking Motherhood…and I couldn’t do it. I tried and nothing came out.
When the little beans are in bed and sleeping, and the day is ending, it’s all the negatives that flood my mind. The times I was impatient, the times I didn’t listen carefully, the times I hid in the bathroom (I can’t be the only one who does this).
I could write an alternative post, no probs.
- 10 parenting mistakes I make everyday
- 9 #mommy fails in 24 hours
- 37 times today I wondered where all the grown ups had gone
My end of the day review
So was I up to much today? In turning over this #Rocking Motherhood question, I’ve noticed this: in my head there is a giant set of weighing scales and at the end of each day, my mothering is weighed in the balance.
Voice of internal judgement: “Everyone was fed and watered all day, you did spend ages reading Frog and Toad, but you were impatient when that cup of water was spilt and you didn’t pay enough attention when there were tears about the Lego man whose legs are still missing.” So no brownie points today.
Or worse than the weighing scales (and this is me on a bad day): the contaminated water. In my mind, my day starts as a jar of clear water. But then a drop of dark ink spreads throughout the entire vessel. Any moment less than perfection contaminates the whole day and it is chalked up as a Bad Mom Day. Any raised voice, any lazy answer, any overreaction, any missed opportunity for good.
Parenting by grace
But why on earth do I ask for perfection? I know I am fallen, a creature, a sinner. I own those truths every day, so why would I be surprised when I make a million mommy mistakes? I once heard a wise preacher say, “We believe in salvation by grace, but we practice parenting by works.” I see that in myself a lot. Parenting by grace must look different; perhaps more focus on Jesus and His perfection rather than myself and my lack of it.
Jacinta’s list ends with this: “I rely on my Mighty God’s strength to carry me through each day of motherhood. That truly is the main reason of how I can rock this motherhood thing!” I love that, and she is so right, of course. He carries us through.
So I wonder, how does the Lord treat me as a mother?
This week I read a Bible verse which halted my negativity in its tracks. Isaiah 40 is full of the Lord’s kindness and shepherding of His people, full of hopeful promises of restoration and being carried.
The tenderness of this image is overwhelming to me. “He gently leads those that have young…” He knows we are vulnerable; he knows we have precious cargo, he knows we need taking care of. So often I feel weighed in the balance, but He is not my accuser. He is my shepherd. So often I feel fearful for my children. But they are not isolated in my care – they are under His protection. The protection of the one who holds the oceans in His hands.
He gently leads those that have young. Another evening arrives, another round of #mommyfails, but I will try to remember this verse. To let the care of the shepherd speak louder than the accusations of my weighing scales.
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