What about the #mommyfails?
So, I was tagged by Jacinta on her lovely blog about faith and motherhood to write a post on 10 Ways I am #Rocking Motherhood…and I couldn’t do it. I tried and nothing came out.
When the little beans are in bed and sleeping, and the day is ending, it’s all the negatives that flood my mind. The times I was impatient, the times I didn’t listen carefully, the times I hid in the bathroom (I can’t be the only one who does this).
I could write an alternative post, no probs.
- 10 parenting mistakes I make everyday
- 9 #mommy fails in 24 hours
- 37 times today I wondered where all the grown ups had gone
My end of the day review
So was I up to much today? In turning over this #Rocking Motherhood question, I’ve noticed this: in my head there is a giant set of weighing scales and at the end of each day, my mothering is weighed in the balance.
Voice of internal judgement: “Everyone was fed and watered all day, you did spend ages reading Frog and Toad, but you were impatient when that cup of water was spilt and you didn’t pay enough attention when there were tears about the Lego man whose legs are still missing.” So no brownie points today.
Or worse than the weighing scales (and this is me on a bad day): the contaminated water. In my mind, my day starts as a jar of clear water. But then a drop of dark ink spreads throughout the entire vessel. Any moment less than perfection contaminates the whole day and it is chalked up as a Bad Mom Day. Any raised voice, any lazy answer, any overreaction, any missed opportunity for good.
Parenting by grace
But why on earth do I ask for perfection? I know I am fallen, a creature, a sinner. I own those truths every day, so why would I be surprised when I make a million mommy mistakes? I once heard a wise preacher say, “We believe in salvation by grace, but we practice parenting by works.” I see that in myself a lot. Parenting by grace must look different; perhaps more focus on Jesus and His perfection rather than myself and my lack of it.
Jacinta’s list ends with this: “I rely on my Mighty God’s strength to carry me through each day of motherhood. That truly is the main reason of how I can rock this motherhood thing!” I love that, and she is so right, of course. He carries us through.
So I wonder, how does the Lord treat me as a mother?
This week I read a Bible verse which halted my negativity in its tracks. Isaiah 40 is full of the Lord’s kindness and shepherding of His people, full of hopeful promises of restoration and being carried.
The tenderness of this image is overwhelming to me. “He gently leads those that have young…” He knows we are vulnerable; he knows we have precious cargo, he knows we need taking care of. So often I feel weighed in the balance, but He is not my accuser. He is my shepherd. So often I feel fearful for my children. But they are not isolated in my care – they are under His protection. The protection of the one who holds the oceans in His hands.
He gently leads those that have young. Another evening arrives, another round of #mommyfails, but I will try to remember this verse. To let the care of the shepherd speak louder than the accusations of my weighing scales.
Linking up with Candidly Christian – preaching the gospel to ourselves
Linking up with Simply+Every
Jacinta says
February 19, 2017 at 8:28 amYou are an awesome Mummy, Elizabeth. 🙂
I have lots of #mommyfails too, and it’s only by His grace that I pick myself up again and thank Him for new mercies every morning!
Elizabeth says
February 22, 2017 at 12:03 am🙂 Thank you, Jacinta. Yes, so thankful for His new mercies each morning!
Lynda says
February 19, 2017 at 7:00 pmAs a mother of 4 (3 are grown & 1 will leave soon on their own journey) and 1 grandchild, I struggled often with being the perfect parent. Until one day the Lord showed me how that wasn’t grace. He began teaching me how to truly love my child in the same way He first loved us! Full of grace & love, gently & full of encouragement. Thank you for sharing your lovely words & thoughts.
Elizabeth says
February 22, 2017 at 12:04 amLynda, thank you so much for sharing. “He began teaching me how to truly love my child in the same way He first loved us” – that is a wonderful thing 🙂
Lauren C. Moye says
February 21, 2017 at 12:44 amGreat post! I can relate to weighing my mothering at the end of the day, but the glass of water analogy really hit home. I find that I almost start panicking when I experience frustration, like being frustrated over not being able to check emails is going to ruin my child’s entire life or something. That verse you shared is such a beautiful image though.
Elizabeth says
February 22, 2017 at 12:06 amThank you, Lauren 🙂 Yes, it is so hard to keep it all in perspective!
Bonnie says
February 21, 2017 at 5:30 pmAnother evening arrives, another round of #mommyfails, but I will try to remember this verse. To let the care of the shepherd speak louder than the accusations of my weighing scales… I get the feeling you wrote down my exact thoughts at the end of a long day!
You have a beautiful blog and wonderful words of encouragement 🙂
Elizabeth says
February 22, 2017 at 12:08 amBonnie, thank you so much… 🙂 I’m so glad we have a very Good Shepherd!
Kate Holmes says
February 22, 2017 at 10:29 pmI have never heard that bit before and it is so powerful and would have helped me heaps in the days of post-natal depression. Thanks for sharing and we all do our best and in the end some of our perceived “fails” will be what our children love us most for in their memory bank. Popping over prompted by the Accelerator group.
Elizabeth says
February 28, 2017 at 8:11 amKate, thank you so much – I think that is a word is season for me “in the end some of our perceived “fails” will be what our children love us most for in their memory bank” Hope you’re having a great week so far 🙂
Karen says
February 23, 2017 at 4:41 pmExcellent scripture! I love that He is the leader and shepherd to those who are doing the work of mothering lambs. Good word for me today when I’m really frustrated with my teen daughter (again). thanks for helping me find the Shepherd today! 🙂
Elizabeth says
February 28, 2017 at 8:12 amKaren, it’s so beautiful, isn’t it 🙂 What a relief that He leads us…
Anna Hunley says
March 22, 2017 at 2:44 pmThis was fantastic! I used it as the devotion for my MOPS group last night! Preach on, momma!
Elizabeth says
March 26, 2017 at 9:44 pmAnna, thank you for the encouragement! I hope your group were encouraged too 🙂
Heather Hart says
April 1, 2017 at 1:10 pmI love the reminder that, “He is not my accuser. He is my shepherd.” I think I’m going to soak that up today. I am right there with you and tend to judge myself as a failure way too often.
Thanks for linking up at Candidly Christian.
Helene says
April 3, 2017 at 5:13 pmThat was fantastic. Everyone and especially mommies need to rest in His grace!
Lara says
August 19, 2017 at 11:00 pmThis spoke to me so much, brought tears to my eyes and filled me with joy. I love that verse in Isaiah and that we serve a God who understands our hearts as mothers. Beautifully written
Elizabeth says
August 20, 2017 at 8:17 pmLara, I’m so so glad you were encouraged. I think we moms really need to hear how the Lord understands and loves us! May God bless you and your precious ones 🙂
Lisa Singleton says
October 9, 2017 at 7:00 amIt is such a privilege to have you as my Sister in Christ. Your writing moved me deeply today and reminded me (beautifully) how our Heavenly Father loves us so tenderly. Before I even finished reading, I was compelled to pray blessings of His angels over you. My three boys are grown (ages 36, 36 and 27) and Jesus has NEVER forsaken me. They all presented challenges and I often felt inadequate. They eventually evolved into wonderful, exceptional men, husbands and fathers. Looking back, I am able to see how he led me/us. Jesus is hope. With Him there is ALWAYS hope. Mom’s cannot survive without hope. Blessings to you, your family and your readers.
Elizabeth says
October 10, 2017 at 11:53 amLisa, thank you SO much for your prayers and encouragement and testimony – it is so wonderful to hear of precious children grown up to be exceptional men, husbands and fathers. This warms my heart so much!! And focuses me on Jesus as our hope for our future and for our children. “With Him there is ALWAYS hope.” Amen… I so appreciate your encouragement.